tears are not my sadness
by oakleaf
Summary: or: "Five times there were tears running down Clint's face but he wasn't crying, and the one time he was crying but there were no tears." Written for an avengerkink prompt. Slight Clint/Natasha, movieverse.


A/N: This is a fill for the following prompt at avengerkink. (I can't get the link to format properly)

_Five times there were tears running down Clint's face but he wasn't crying, dammit, shut up Natasha. And one time he was crying but there were no tears._

_(What I'm thinking of is, for the 5, like...chopping onions and very windy places and dirt in the eyes, and stuff...and for the last one, I get this idea that Clint's the sort of person who doesn't really *cry* no matter what, so when he's super super upset even if he does cry there are no tears, like he's sort of bad at it and repressed and stuff? But if you decide to go somewhere else with it, go for it!)_

_Any pairing; Clint/Coulson or Clint/Natasha would be lovely but any or none will do. :)_

This was composed in the comment box, so forgive me for any errors. Movieverse.

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_five_

At least, he thinks, this time the enemy was not superhuman. There's a small wound on his side, from a stray projectile, but it's nothing more than a scratch but has been bleeding quite a bit.

Clint is standing on the top of a tall building, the wind whipping around him as he took in the surroundings, warning his teammates of attacks and patterns, shooting at anything that posed a threat.

When Stark gets him off the building, his eyes are dry as anything and he blinks ferociously and rapidly to get rid of the horribly, scratchy feeling. It's then that his eyes water.

Steve walks over, checking on his team in the same way he does after every battle and notices the clean lines down Clint's cheeks and the dry blood on his side.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Nasty wound there. Is it bad?"

"Nah, just a scratch."

"Is a scratch enough to make you cry?"

"Oh, my eyes were dry, you know, it's pretty windy."

Steve takes another look at the wound, decides it's not as serious as it first seems and moves on to the next person.

_four_

It's a little known fact among the outside world that Clint's the best cook out of the Avengers, though Natasha makes a mean dessert.

Steve can approach the stove without making things blow up, Tony and Bruce are too methodical and scientific, which makes edible food, but it's not exciting.

Thor stays away from the kitchen, being unsure of what the Midgardians like to eat.

So one day, they see Clint in the kitchen, sitting and rubbing at his eyes, looking like he's just been bawling his eyes out, the team is curious.

"Something wrong?" Bruce asks gently.

"Yeah, I hate onions."

There's a moment of silence.

"I'm not actually traumatised by them or anything, just they make my eyes water," he says in response to the curious and somewhat awkward faces the others were making.

_three_

It's been a long day and the Avengers are just finishing up a movie when Clint yawns unobtrusively, but the action adds water to his eyes. He blinks it away and rubs his eyes to remove their existence.

Too bad Tony notices this.

"Aww, the ending too sad for you, Legolas?"

"Yawned," is all he says in reply, sending the man a glare before trying to cover up another one.

_two_

It's just the two of them, Clint and Natasha, on a SHIELD mission. They're in central Australia, where the sun is hot and the winds come suddenly, blowing the dust everywhere.

They're here to take out a mark who wants to use the high iron content of the sand to build some ghastly weapon. Or something like that.

As soon as he hits the mark, dust enters his eye and his eye is leaking like mad trying to get it out and nothing helps. Shutting his eyes doesn't work and neither does blinking like crazy.

Natasha gets there and raises her eyebrows at him as he begins to pour water into his eye to get it out.

When it finally gets out, Natasha lightly remarks, "You know, one would almost think you were crying with those waterworks you had going."

He gives her his best glare and she stares coolly back. A moment later the edges of her lips twitch and they smile at one another.

_one_

Washing your eyes out with water is a bad idea. Clint knows this, but he had to get the dust out of his eyes.

After his debriefing, he heads over to the medical area, as required by Phil and accompanied by Natasha, to pick up a pack of eye drops to ensure his eyes are not infected by anything that may have been in the water.

He puts them in himself and feels the excess moisture in his eyes forming tear tracks on his face.

"Crying?" Phil asks, completely straight-faced. "You, crying, really?"

Clint turns to him, retort ready on his tongue, when he sees Phil's smiling.

"You've heard from the Avengers, haven't you," he asks, deadpan.

"Yes, I have."

"Damn them."

_zero_

The enemy used magic. Of course he would.

And of course he'd aim to take out the team leader.

Of course, someone would get in the way of that aim.

Of course it would be a spell to trap you in misery, reliving the worst of your memories for three hours.

Of course it would be Clint who jumped in front of the spell.

Righteously angry, the Avengers fought hard, fought well and fought to avenge. Which meant it was a short fight.

By the time the fight had finished, Clint was still under the spell, whimpering. The Avengers looked at each other, silently thinking, what could make their strong archer break down like this?

When he woke, he lashed out at everything and everyone that went near him.

He was screaming in fright, sobbing, behaving like a hurt, frightened animal.

Until Natasha, speaking to him calmly and softly, got close enough to him to wrap her arms around him and kiss him gently on the forehead.

He calmed slightly, still shaken by memories buried for years, relaxing into her arms.

There were no tears.

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Reviews are loved.


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